One Egg Shy

The musings of Chris. Writer, humanitarian, hero.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Clippy's Guide to Suicide Notes

Welcome to Clippy's Guide to Suicide Notes! I'll take you through a quick series of instructions to make sure you let your loved ones know exactly why you've chosen to take your own life, as well as make them really guilty!

•Tell people specifically how they could have done things differently to keep you alive.

•Use really good song lyrics to sum up how you feel.

•Instead of bequeathing earthly possessions which loved ones will actually appreciate, list weird, creepy objects for people to receive upon your body’s discovery, like your bottles of toenails or chest full of bird carcasses.


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