One Egg Shy

The musings of Chris. Writer, humanitarian, hero.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

True Colors

As I cleaned bird shit off the hood of my car with windex and a paper towel (is dry-wretching a symptom of the bird-flu? If so, I’ve got it), I got to thinking about dating. See, I was getting ready to go to lunch with a girl. It was our second date, and I was furiously cleaning my car so it would appear passable when I picked her up.

My car was a mess, and I had been meaning to clean it anyway, so it was no big deal. However...

I was lying. I was lying because to present to this girl a clean car would be an inaccurate portrayal of myself. Am I the type of person who travels with a clean car? No. I’m a borderline snob, as my mother would be quick to tell you. So really, I’m a liar, right?

Except that I think all people lie when they first date someone. They wear their best outfit, they pluck their unsightly hairs, they go to the nicest places possible. I think a truer test of whether a relationship is going to work or not would be to present yourself at your most grotesque–unshaven, unshowered, filthy. If you still click with a person at this most horrible of stages, then you’ve got something going. You get all your grossness out of the way and can move on to seeing if other things work out.

Maybe I should have just dirtied my car up again. On the other hand, I didn’t wash it or anything, and the upholstery was still dusty. I can deal with some dusty upholstery: that sounds like me.


  • At 1:58 PM, Blogger Moment said…

    I've often wondered that too. Why do we pretend to be something we're not? Only to later on be the true pigs we are in front of the ones we wanted to impress? Human nature or societys curse? I wish I knew

  • At 3:38 PM, Blogger Jake said…

    I think that when someone notices an effort to clean up a bit, they take it as a sign of good faith towards the relationship. If you're not willing to pick up your junk on the first date, what might you let slide by the fifth? So you're not really lying, you're just being considerate to the girl.

    In her mind, will she order a small salad to save you money (a lie about future meals) or order the lobster to be honest about her love for seafood? Which would you prefer, as the guy?


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