One Egg Shy

The musings of Chris. Writer, humanitarian, hero.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day

Why I need photoshop
Most of you know the gig. I hate Valentine’s Day. This year I showed my hatred for the day
by participating in a college humor writers collab. The other one that I submitted that didn't get posted was, "Love is like the toilet seat in a dirty bar: there when you need it, kinda ugly, and bound to give you gonorrhea."

Last year for the event I took a survey of people on my buddy list (some of whom didn’t make the cut) to gauge what the general feeling on the streets was regarding this holiday.

I set up the survey thusly: people were given three possible replies to the question “What do you think about Valentine’s Day, either A) It’s an awesome chance to say “I love you” B) I don’t have strong feelings about it either way and C) It fucking blows and you know it, asshole. I received 29 replies.

3 people answered A
18 people answered B
8 people answered C

It turned out that people weren’t as jaded as I was, although a former college classmate of mine said, “I highly doubt that one day of being romantic and charming is really going to make up for the other 364 days of being an asshole.”
I responded with a resounding C when I polled myself (man, why does that sound so sexual?). The funny part is, for all of my bitterness about being single at the time, I ended up getting laid that night. I’m hoping that the unexpected, non-relationship sex of last Valentine’s Day was the beginning of a yearly trend (of course, if I were in a relationship, I’d be satisfied with relationship sex).

I’m going to put my sex life in the hands of the fates in terms of getting laid tonight but more likely, my sex life will continue to depend upon my own hands.
Ladies, here is your chance. You know how to reach me.


  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Jason said…

    Still didn't get rid of the hero I see....

    Anyways, yeah Valentine's Day blows. It doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or not. I don't need a designated day to lavish a dane with gifts and a crap load of junk. Guess what, this year, I didn't buy flower or chocolate. That's what you get stupid holiday. I did however buy other stuff but no flowers or chocolate.

  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    Well buddy, looks like your only romance is with me tonight.

    Your hand.

  • At 9:58 AM, Blogger Russo said…

    St Valentine’s Day was created to make you feel bad that you’re not Jerry Maguire in that movie Jerry Maguire.


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