One Egg Shy

The musings of Chris. Writer, humanitarian, hero.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Sexual HarASSment

I read a story the other day about a six year old boy who was suspended for “sexual harassment” after he allegedly put two fingers inside a girl’s waistband while in school. All I can say is, what the fuck? Why do teachers everywhere keep trying to make children grow up so fast?

Sure, I can see a little girl getting upset about a little boy touching her, but 1) the poor kid got a three-day suspension and 2) he’s going to carry the stigma of a sexual harassment punishment around for the rest of his school career. He’s a freaking kid, for the love of Chuck.

At six, I had only a murky idea of what made a girl different than a boy. I knew that older girls had boobies, and that boys and men had wee-wees. I didn’t know about the hoo-hoos that girls hid in their pants, and I certainly wasn’t trying to stick my fingers into any waistbands to find out.

There was a time in the second grade, however, that a classmate of mine dared me to run around lifting up skirts during recess (I went to a Catholic grade school where the girls wore jumpers). I agreed, not out of any sexual interest, but because I knew they’d be annoyed. I had no idea what I was doing or looking for, and I can bet that this poor kid didn’t either.

I heard a recent story that another school has banned the game of tag, saying that it fosters competitiveness and inequality among children. OF COURSE IT DOES, IT’S FUCKING TAG! When you play tag, you go for the fat kid. Once he’s “it,” you run circles around him, poking him with sticks. This is America, where poking fat kids has been celebrated since the first three presidents used to tease Benjamin Franklin for his portly stature (his glasses didn’t help, either).

I just want to let kids be kids. This boy will have his whole life to sexual harass broads, but that doesn’t mean he did it purposefully at age 6. Teachers and parents need to chill out with that crap.


  • At 2:50 PM, Blogger HarryEBalllls said…

    I've no comment for this piece, but you're a dick for saying "only girls and pussies" like O.A.R. You're a writer of bullshit collumns on some bullshit website. Don't make crude opinionated statements liks that when your opinion is held in no regard whatsoever.


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