One Egg Shy

The musings of Chris. Writer, humanitarian, hero.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Jester Man

Jester Man had a sunny disposition, complete with twinkling eyes and a wide smile. I immediately opened fire with an array of jokes from my blaster. “What does the vet say when neutering the race horse? ‘And they’re off!’” He erupted in laughter. He was enjoying this battle. He asked me a few easy-toss questions, each of them parried and answered easily.

However, he caught on to the skills I was using against him, and fired out his hardest question yet: "What is the most important aspect of serving?" The question hit me square in the chest, knocking back into the wall. The cheap plaster walls shattered and rained down in a heap around me. I fell to my knees.

"How can I defeat him!?” I asked myself, “His knowledge of the restaurant business is that of a god!" Then I remembered the skill I gained from Red Sox Man. I equipped the Guest Service Knowledge power onto my Mega Buster. Within seconds I had all the answers to anything that dealt with Guest Service.

Since Jester Man saw how much damage the last question did to me, he tried to fire the same one again, this time with anger in his voice: "What is the most important aspect of serving?!" With my new skill at hand I shot back. I rejected the traditional "Service with a Smile" answer and followed that up simply with "Attentiveness." This nearly depleted his energy. He was awestruck! He replied, "That is without a shadow of the doubt, the best answer I have ever heard to that question."

This must have scrambled his thinking patterns because then he asked me to tell him a funny story that had happened to me recently. I told him a story about my Italian Grandmother after I had determined that he, too, was from the land of tomato sauce and mob bosses. He laughed so hard that it drained what was left of his energy bar. Like Red Sox Man before him, he exploded into thousands of tiny energy balls. I was then infused with the power of Management Skills. With these powers, I would have literally 20 years of restaurant management under my belt.

As I wiped the dust from my Megasuit and thought about looking around for food for my trusty dog Rush, the trailer rumbled. Giant footsteps were approaching! Dust fell from the ceiling with each step. I coughed and aimed my blaster at the door. Suddenly, the sound of tearing wood filled the room as a huge metal claw ripped off the side of the trailer! There before me stood Dr. General Manager in a huge robotic suit!

Keep reading ...


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