One Egg Shy

The musings of Chris. Writer, humanitarian, hero.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Let's Get Physical


I exercised yesterday.

I’ll pause here while people gather themselves: murmur excitedly, shoot surprised glances, put your dentures back in.

I’ve been trying to play racquetball since the beginning of last semester, but every time I’d have it planned, something would come up, like the plants needed to be taken to their soccer games or the kids needed watering. Well yesterday, I finally made it to the courts and played.

There’s nothing like a competitive sport to make me feel like a man. There was running, grunting, heaving and sweating, much like most of my sexual experiences (especially the running). After an hour of less than intense play, I was a little tired. I had to catch my breath and take a couple extra drinks of water. But overall, I felt okay considering I hadn’t really exercised since the fall of the Berlin wall. We grabbed our things and headed for the stairs. And that’s where it happened.

With my first step, my right thigh felt like it was going to explode. I paused, surprised. I stepped with my left foot next. It too felt like it was on the verge of exploding. Well, it turns out that my legs, who had grown used to the life of an academic (sitting, thinking, occasionally peeing without stopping the sitting) and were revolting against their new role.

I’m going to try to keep exercising, not as a lame resolution but because I have fun doing it and I could use a kickin’ bod to attract da ladies. And as long as there are no stairs to climb, I should be fine. Otherwise, I’ll just wander buildings looking for elevators.

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